バイブルスタディーで６０代のクリスチャン女性Ｋさんが、彼女が書いた短歌を読んで知人が励まされたのを聞いて複雑な気持ちになったと話してくださった。なぜならその短歌は、失った夫を想い涙がとまらないという内容で、クリスチャンになって元気いっぱいのイメージとはかけ離れているし、クリスチャンの良い模範になっていないからだと言う。「こういう時になんて言えばいいのかしらねぇ」と彼女。
「『こんな私でさえも神さまは愛してくださっているんです』と言ったらどうでしょう？」
「そんな風にあなたみたいにいい言葉がすぐに思いつけばいいけど、私はダメよ」とＫさん。
「いやいや、私もね同じようなことがあったんです。私には今の自分の力ではどうすることのできない弱みがあって、その弱みを知っている人に、『自分を助けられない人に、他の人を助けることはできない』って言われて、ショックで何も言う事ができなかったことがあったんです。で、何日も後になってから、あぁあの時こう言えばよかったって思ったんです。『私は自分で自分を助けることができないけど、こんな私でも神さまは愛してくださっているんです。』って。」
あの時の歯がゆい思いがだれかの役に立ったと思うと嬉しかった。
Saturday, August 29, 2009
Wednesday, August 26, 2009
ちっちゃい自分 ＜シェルター訪問＞
ダウンタウンLAにあるホームレスのシェルターに住む子どもたちを訪れてきました。
みんなかなりの情緒不安定な子どもだった。ハンカチ落としゲームはハンカチで頭を叩き合ってケンカになり、思い通りにいかず叫び声をあげて泣き崩れる子ども・・・大の字に寝転がった幼児は激しく抵抗するので触れることができず、キャンディーの赤いよだれでベトベトになった赤ちゃんに思わず手がすくむ・・・、髪や服にやたらと触ってくる子どもたちも多い。正直ワタシはなんにもできなかった。ただ一緒に子どもと遊ぶだけしかできなかった。
最後に祈ったスタッフのお祈りは美しかった。
「神さま、私たちがした最も小さなことが、神さまが描かれている
最も大きなことのためであることを嬉しく思います。」
家に帰ってきてすぐにシャワーをあびて服を洗濯したワタシはちっちゃい・・・
Union Rescue Mission
http://www.unionrescuemission.org/
みんなかなりの情緒不安定な子どもだった。ハンカチ落としゲームはハンカチで頭を叩き合ってケンカになり、思い通りにいかず叫び声をあげて泣き崩れる子ども・・・大の字に寝転がった幼児は激しく抵抗するので触れることができず、キャンディーの赤いよだれでベトベトになった赤ちゃんに思わず手がすくむ・・・、髪や服にやたらと触ってくる子どもたちも多い。正直ワタシはなんにもできなかった。ただ一緒に子どもと遊ぶだけしかできなかった。
最後に祈ったスタッフのお祈りは美しかった。
「神さま、私たちがした最も小さなことが、神さまが描かれている
最も大きなことのためであることを嬉しく思います。」
家に帰ってきてすぐにシャワーをあびて服を洗濯したワタシはちっちゃい・・・
Union Rescue Mission
http://www.unionrescuemission.org/
Monday, August 3, 2009
Testimony
I thought I was doing right. I thought I could do anything. I thought I could buy anything with money. I thought there was God, but I didn’t even think God wanted to have a personal relationship with me. I used to believe what I wanted to believe, charms, flattery, fortune telling, and myself.
I came to the States for work and used to earn very good money for a few years, but soon, I became sick, hospitalized, unemployed, and betrayed by someone I trusted…. Soon my life turned to living for revenge and anger. I used to blame others for the reason of my misfortune. I kept fighting for the justice that I knew and spent all of my energy and finances. As hard as I tried to be happy, I became empty. As hard as I tried to get out from the bad habit, I became deeply bondage to it.
I lost my control and panicked more and more when my belongings were disappeared for money little by little. I was sad because I didn’t have money. I was upset when I saw people having a good time. I felt miserable because I was not able to buy coffee at Starbucks. I was sad and teary when I had to take foods out of the shopping basket at the 99 cents only store to match up with the cash amount I had in my pocket. Once I thought to go back to Japan where my family and friends were, but I couldn’t go home because I didn’t want them know that I failed to live in the States.
I went to a Japanese store and I found a babysitting job posting for a 7 years old boy. I used to hate kids, but I thought it would be a good idea to take care of kids because I didn’t want to see any Japanese adults at the time. The boy and his mother lived right in front of the apartment where I used to live. They were Christians. After the boy’s mother left for her nighttime shift at work and the boy went to bed, I sat alone in the living room and found the Bible in the bookshelf. At the same time, the idea came into my mind that the Bible might answer my question, why a good person like me would fail. I went to a Japanese bookstore and bought a Bible and started reading the New Testament.
The Scriptures from the Bible opened my eyes and blew my mind. I found myself; I was wrong, completely wrong. The Bible taught me totally new and completely opposite from my way of doing and being. “Forgive, and you will be forgiven.”, “Do not take revenge, but leave room for God’s wrath.”, “Do not judge, or you too will be judged.”, “You can not serve both God and Money.”, “Do not let your left hand know what your right hand is doing.”. The Bible told me how wrong I was and how sinful to God. I feared God. I wanted to be forgiven. I asked God for his forgiveness with tears confessing any kinds of sin I had ever recalled. I didn’t know how to pray, so I prayed the Lord’s Prayer all the time. As the Bible says I followed the instruction and went into a closet and closed the door and prayed so that God who is unseen would listen to my prayer.
While I was reading the Bible, my forgotten memory, for 30 years ago when I was age 7 in Japan, came back to my mind that I used to have a Bible and go to Sunday school; I went to a summer camp and understood that Jesus died for my sin on the Cross. I went to the lady who was taking care of me and told her about stealing stickers. She opened the Bible and prayed for me and I cried for His forgiveness. I was so happy to be forgiven and became a child of God. When I came back home from the camp and I saw my father was praying to the idol, butsudan. I rebuked my father and made him angry so much. He tore up my Bible and threw it out the window. I ran to outside crying and picked up the pieces of my Bible saying, “I’m sorry Jesus”. I stopped going to church and talking about Jesus after that.
I finished reading the New Testament in two weeks. I found the right way, but I know I was at the edge of the wrong way. I felt I was a lost sheep and needed someone to lead me to the right direction. I didn’t want to go back to the wrong way. I looked in the yellow page and found the nearest church service in Japanese. There were many religious places in the yellow pages so I picked by name, Free Methodist Church because I thought this church might have free style and welcome any kinds of sinners. I still remember the first day at church a lady welcomed me saying “welcome/yoku irasshaimashita ne” and I cried because I thought I was able to reach the safety zone finally. I started going to this church in April 2006 and gave my life for Jesus and was baptized in September 2006.
I used to live in a world that was like a garbage dumpster. The Lord Jesus pulled me out from it and cleansed all my sins with His blood of the Cross. The Lord Jesus dressed me a new cloth and put me in his grace world. My bad old habit was gone instantly while I was reading the Bible in a closet. I am powerless, but I am in the power of Jesus Christ who rose again from death and the power delivered me from the bad habit. I live with Jesus Christ and do not live in death. The Lord Jesus helped me to start a new life and restored my broken life with his love. There are countless fingerprints of the Lord all over me and this makes me feel special. I am a favorite of Jesus Christ’s.
“The LORD your God is with you, He is mighty to save. He will take great delight in you, He will quiet you with His love, He will rejoice over you with singing.” Zephaniah 3:17
I was not able to find the right way, but the Lord leads me to the right way. I have nothing, but the Lord treasures me.
“The LORD your God has chosen you …. to be his treasured possession.” Deuteronomy 7:6
I testify that Satan was not able to break the contract between God and me, because I believed that Jesus Christ died for my sin on the Cross. The Cross has power that is alive in me no matter what.
I came to the States for work and used to earn very good money for a few years, but soon, I became sick, hospitalized, unemployed, and betrayed by someone I trusted…. Soon my life turned to living for revenge and anger. I used to blame others for the reason of my misfortune. I kept fighting for the justice that I knew and spent all of my energy and finances. As hard as I tried to be happy, I became empty. As hard as I tried to get out from the bad habit, I became deeply bondage to it.
I lost my control and panicked more and more when my belongings were disappeared for money little by little. I was sad because I didn’t have money. I was upset when I saw people having a good time. I felt miserable because I was not able to buy coffee at Starbucks. I was sad and teary when I had to take foods out of the shopping basket at the 99 cents only store to match up with the cash amount I had in my pocket. Once I thought to go back to Japan where my family and friends were, but I couldn’t go home because I didn’t want them know that I failed to live in the States.
I went to a Japanese store and I found a babysitting job posting for a 7 years old boy. I used to hate kids, but I thought it would be a good idea to take care of kids because I didn’t want to see any Japanese adults at the time. The boy and his mother lived right in front of the apartment where I used to live. They were Christians. After the boy’s mother left for her nighttime shift at work and the boy went to bed, I sat alone in the living room and found the Bible in the bookshelf. At the same time, the idea came into my mind that the Bible might answer my question, why a good person like me would fail. I went to a Japanese bookstore and bought a Bible and started reading the New Testament.
The Scriptures from the Bible opened my eyes and blew my mind. I found myself; I was wrong, completely wrong. The Bible taught me totally new and completely opposite from my way of doing and being. “Forgive, and you will be forgiven.”, “Do not take revenge, but leave room for God’s wrath.”, “Do not judge, or you too will be judged.”, “You can not serve both God and Money.”, “Do not let your left hand know what your right hand is doing.”. The Bible told me how wrong I was and how sinful to God. I feared God. I wanted to be forgiven. I asked God for his forgiveness with tears confessing any kinds of sin I had ever recalled. I didn’t know how to pray, so I prayed the Lord’s Prayer all the time. As the Bible says I followed the instruction and went into a closet and closed the door and prayed so that God who is unseen would listen to my prayer.
While I was reading the Bible, my forgotten memory, for 30 years ago when I was age 7 in Japan, came back to my mind that I used to have a Bible and go to Sunday school; I went to a summer camp and understood that Jesus died for my sin on the Cross. I went to the lady who was taking care of me and told her about stealing stickers. She opened the Bible and prayed for me and I cried for His forgiveness. I was so happy to be forgiven and became a child of God. When I came back home from the camp and I saw my father was praying to the idol, butsudan. I rebuked my father and made him angry so much. He tore up my Bible and threw it out the window. I ran to outside crying and picked up the pieces of my Bible saying, “I’m sorry Jesus”. I stopped going to church and talking about Jesus after that.
I finished reading the New Testament in two weeks. I found the right way, but I know I was at the edge of the wrong way. I felt I was a lost sheep and needed someone to lead me to the right direction. I didn’t want to go back to the wrong way. I looked in the yellow page and found the nearest church service in Japanese. There were many religious places in the yellow pages so I picked by name, Free Methodist Church because I thought this church might have free style and welcome any kinds of sinners. I still remember the first day at church a lady welcomed me saying “welcome/yoku irasshaimashita ne” and I cried because I thought I was able to reach the safety zone finally. I started going to this church in April 2006 and gave my life for Jesus and was baptized in September 2006.
I used to live in a world that was like a garbage dumpster. The Lord Jesus pulled me out from it and cleansed all my sins with His blood of the Cross. The Lord Jesus dressed me a new cloth and put me in his grace world. My bad old habit was gone instantly while I was reading the Bible in a closet. I am powerless, but I am in the power of Jesus Christ who rose again from death and the power delivered me from the bad habit. I live with Jesus Christ and do not live in death. The Lord Jesus helped me to start a new life and restored my broken life with his love. There are countless fingerprints of the Lord all over me and this makes me feel special. I am a favorite of Jesus Christ’s.
“The LORD your God is with you, He is mighty to save. He will take great delight in you, He will quiet you with His love, He will rejoice over you with singing.” Zephaniah 3:17
I was not able to find the right way, but the Lord leads me to the right way. I have nothing, but the Lord treasures me.
“The LORD your God has chosen you …. to be his treasured possession.” Deuteronomy 7:6
I testify that Satan was not able to break the contract between God and me, because I believed that Jesus Christ died for my sin on the Cross. The Cross has power that is alive in me no matter what.
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